You're a Mystery Damon Salvatore
by brainy-brownie123
Summary: With Damon around, Elena comes home to a different situation each day. Just how immature he can get is yet to be discovered. Chapter 1- No more vampires jumping on the bed. 3- A romantic dinner, or something else? 4- Prom? 6- They're Here 7- I lost my number, can I have yours?
1. No More Vampires Jumping on the Bed

Hey readers, this is meant to be funny and immature, so please review, good or bad, advice or commentary, rain or shine.

* * *

Elena was just closing the front door behind her, after going out to get some groceries, when she heard a loud thump. She was on immediate alert, crouching to quietly set down her grocery bags and to grab a slender stake that she kept hidden in her left boot. _Thump, _she heard again, and then again.

_Thump, thump, thump._

The noise sounded like it was coming from upstairs, so Elena gripped her stake and started moving cautiously up the stairs. As Elena got to the landing, she heard a constant banging, possibly coming from her room. Elena's first thought was that Jeremy was being kidnapped by a vampire, but she quickly remembered that Jeremy was working at the Grill. So she spent the next few seconds calculating just who would be in her bedroom making such a noise. She thought that the thumping noise was too constant for it to be the sound of two people fighting, so her only other thought was that it was someone's head being banged against the wall.

Elena reached her bedroom door and shoved it open.

"Damon!" she shouted surprised. "What are you doing? I told you no jumping on my bed!"

"Oh," Damon said jumping up.

"Hey," he jumped again.

"Elena," he smirked.

As Damon jumped up and down, his arms flung wide and the ends of his hair sprung up around his head. He had a huge grin on his face, and he must have been jumping for some time, because there was a slight flush in his cheeks. Another sign of his continued jumping was the state of the comforter and sheets, which were folded neatly after Elena woke up this morning and were now tangled in a knot under Damon's feet as he jumped up and down, wrinkling them further.

"Damon you can't jump on the bed!"

"And why not?"

"Arg," Elena groaned thinking, "because you're an adult, and it's not your bed!"

"Oh come on Elena, you know that my bed isn't as springy as yours," he whined.

Elena shrugged and nodded, knowing that it was true.

"Damon you're like one hundred and twenty-eight years old, are you seriously jumping on the bed?"

"Yes, it's fun," he smiled, pushing with his legs to jump higher.

"Have you ever heard of a story about monkeys that liked to jump on the bed?"

"Nope."

"Well, one falls down and bumps his head," she warned.

"Hey that rhymed!"

Elena stood with her arm folded and shot Damon a look.

"Elena," Damon rolled his eyes, "I'm a vampire, I have the reflexes of a cheetah. I'm not going to fall off the bed."

"You'd be surprised," Elena said, "Come on, you've jumped for long enough, get off."

"No."

"Yes, Damon," Elena insisted.

"No, not until you jump with me."

"No."

"Please Elena, you won't realize how fun it is until you try it."

"We are under the constant threat of death, and you jump on the bed?"

"Yes! We are under the constant threat of death; therefore we must jump and find joy in the little things life has to offer, like jumping on the bed. Come on, Elena, live a little."

"Fine," she grumbled, "but you're fixing the sheets."

Elena slipped off her shoes and Damon stopped jumping to give her a hand up onto the bed. When Elena got onto her feet, Damon started bouncing.

"Come on, Elena."

So Elena started slightly springing up and down, barely lifting her feet from the mattress.

"No, you're not doing it right, we have to get in sync if you want to jump really high."

So Elena watched and made sure to jump up when Damon was falling down, and they managed to jump pretty high. Damon was right, her bed was quite springy.

"If only you ceiling were higher, then we could do tricks and flips."

"Don't push it."

"Oh, come on, you have to admit this is fun."

"Well, it's certainly odd, but it's a nice stress reliever," she breathed, smiling.

"See, and you wonder why I do this every day?"

"You jump on my bed every day?"

"Elena, it's so springy, how can you resist _not_ jumping on it?"

"You're a child."

"Yeah, but you still think I'm sexy."

Elena rolled her eyes, but she smiled and grabbed Damon's hands as they jumped together.

"So," Damon said as he bounced up.

"I"

"Have"

"An idea."

* * *

After work, Jeremy sighed as he walked up the steps to the front door and picked up the newspaper that had been flung onto the doormat. As Jeremy was reaching into his pocket for his keys, he heard a thud following by giggling coming from inside.

_Oh great_, he thought, _what are they up to now?_

As Jeremy opened the door, he first heard a collective shouting of 'One, Two, Three!" Which he then answered with, "what the hell are you guys doing?"

And then Jeremy was immediately met with the thundering sight and sound of Damon and Elena thumping down the stairs on top of a mattress and crashing in a tangle of arms and legs at the foot of the stairs.

Damon and Elena were laughing so hysterically it looked like they were having trouble breathing.

"What are you guys doing?" Jeremy shouted.

Damon and Elena stopped laughing abruptly and turned to look at Jeremy, but after a few seconds of looking at his enraged expression they quickly burst into laughter again.

Jeremy crossed his arms and waited.

"We're mattress surfing!" Elena proclaimed.

"And why are you mattress surfing?" Jeremy sighed exasperated.

"Because it's fun," Damon laughed.

"This is what Damon Salvatore likes to do for fun?"

"Well, she wouldn't let me into her pants, so…"

Elena elbowed Damon in the side as Jeremy said, "Come on man, that's my sister."

"It's okay Jer, come on Damon, let's do it again," Elena said.

"Okay, now that's more like it," he said standing up, grabbing a corner of the mattress to lift it up the stairs.

"Wait," Jeremy said, "Is that my mattress?"

"Elena's wouldn't fit on the stairs," Damon conceded.

"You're using my mattress to surf down the stairs!"

"Sorry Jer," Elena called as she carried the mattress further up the stairs.

"Wait, if it's my mattress, I get a turn too!"


	2. There's a Big Scary Bug

Damon was at the bar, finishing off his bourbon, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He saw on his caller i.d. that it was Elena, so he smirked and prepared to find out why she was calling him.

"Hello," He said, possibly a little flirty.

"Damon, it's Elena, you have to come home right now!"

"What is it, what's wrong?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting together. He heard loud thundering in the background, "what's that noise?"

"I'm running down the stairs! Oh my god! There's a cockroach! There's a huge cockroach in the bathroom!" she screamed.

"Whoa, you need to calm down, maybe take a chill pill, or meet me at the bar," he smiled.

"I can't calm down! A cockroach just tried to attack me, Damon!"

"Okay, so what do you want me to do about it?"

"I need you to kill it! I need you to come home and kill it!"

"Arg, fine let me finish my drink."

"No you need to come home right now!"

"Why? Before the roach crawls away, into the recesses of the house, and comes out only at night, where it will haunt you, because now you've seen it, you know that's it there, but somewhere, because you can't find it, but you know it's lurking, somewhere," Damon whispered eerily into the phone.

"Damon stop! Please you have to come home and kill it!"

"Fine, but you owe me, big time!"

"Deal!"

"You promise?"

"Yes I promise! Now hurry home!"

"Vamp-speed powers activate!" he cried into the phone.

* * *

"Alright," he said, opening Elena's front door, "where's the big, scary monster?"

"I've contained it in the upstairs bathroom," Elena said, coming to greet him.

So, Damon stomped up the stairs and swung the bathroom door open.

"Well, where is it?"

Elena poked her head out from behind the doorframe and whispered, "It's behind the toilet."

"And how do you suppose I kill it?"

"Squish it with your boot."

"You want me to kill a cockroach with my new Givincio Bianni limited edition boots?" Damon turned to Elena.

"Yes," Elena insisted, nodding.

"Not happening."

"Oh," Elena jumped, "I'll get one of Stefan's shoes."

"Good idea."

So Elena watched, safe from the hallway, as Damon entered the bathroom and then listened for the loud bang that would indicate the death of the big scary bug. After the bang, Elena heard the toilet flush and then Damon exited the bathroom.

"There, all taken care of."

"Oh, thank you," she sighed, "this is like the third time this has happened, I'm beginning to think we have a roach problem."

"Hmm, you should probably get that checked out. Now, about what you owe me," Damon pondered.

"What?" Elena groaned.

"I've decided what I want, a kiss."

"No, not happening."

"Why not? We've kissed many times before," Damon smirked.

"Yes, but only in the moment during certain circumstances, not on command."

"Elena, just kiss me."

"Fine," she said closing her eyes and waiting for him to come closer.

"Oh, no, I'm not kissing you," he said, "You have to kiss me."

She sighed and grabbed his head, turning it to the side. She edged closer and wetted her lips, batting her eyelashes as he absorbed every feature on her beautiful face. Just as she was about to reach his lips, he closed his eyes, and with a slight twist of her wrists, she moved to quickly kiss his cheek. Then she turned as raced as fast as she could down the stairs.

"Hey, that's not a kiss!" he complained.

"It's not my fault you never specified!" she called.

"I killed a bug for you!"

"I do your ironing for you!" she countered.

"Hey you that know my shirts are one hundred percent cotton and I always have trouble getting the creases right!" He called down the stairs.

* * *

Damon and Elena were sitting quietly in the kitchen, drinking coffee, when Jeremy swiftly entered from the living room.

"Okay, do not go in there, there is a huge spider crawling on the wall!"

Damon smirked, "Now I see why you didn't call him."

* * *

Damon was smiling as he opened Elena's front door and quietly entered the house.

"Come on Cody the Cockroach, it's time to scare Elena," he whispered to the Tupperware bowl that he had in his hands.

Damon crept up the stairs and into the hallway bathroom where he crouched down and popped open the lid to the bowl, allowing the cockroach to escape to its favorite location behind the toilet.

"There you go Cody, go hide and don't come out until Elena's home."

"What it that?" Jeremy asked, standing behind Damon.

"Ahh, Jeremy, I didn't think anyone would be home," Damon said surprised.

"Hah, I managed to sneak up on a vampire," Jeremy smiled, "now what are you doing?"

"This is Cody the Cockroach," Damon said as an explanation.

"So, when you kill the bugs, you're not actually killing the bugs are you?"

"I do actually kill the spiders, but this guy has been a project of mine for the last couple of weeks. I go in, stomp the floor with my foot, flush the toilet, and then return Cody to his plastic bowl in my coat pocket. And Elena gets more freaked out each time she sees him."

"So she has no idea what you're doing?"

"Yes, and if you tell her, I'll have Cody and all his friends come and invade your bedroom, got it?"

"I didn't see anything," Jeremy said, backing out of the room with his hands in the air.

* * *

Damon was sitting at the bar the next day, finishing his bourbon, when his cell phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Hello."

"Damon, it's Elena, you have to come home right now!"

"Let me guess, it's a cockroach, in the bathroom."

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Elena, I'm a vampire, we have a sense of these things."

"Well good because I need you to come and kill it! I really have to go to the bathroom!"

"Just go downstairs."

"I can't, there's a cockroach in there too!" That was Cody's cousin, Carlton.

"I don't know if I can do it this time, Elena, your kiss last time was pretty disappointing."

"I'll kiss you properly, full on the lips," she said desperately.

"Seven minutes in heaven?"

"Don't push it."

"Second base?"

"You know, I'm actually not that scared of cockroaches anymore, I'm more scared of your desperation for a romantic encounter with me."

"Fine, I'll settle for French."

"You'll be getting chaste."

"Elena there are two cockroaches."

"Two chaste kisses, then."

"Deal."


	3. A romantic dinner or something else?

**Hey readers, this is a combination of humor and angst and a little mystery, let me know what you think. **

**I dedicate this chapter to Appetite for Blood, Naomi Leon, Delenaluver, Undying Love13, and Vampire2016, thank you so much for reviewing!**

* * *

Damon sighed as he pulled his car up to Mystic Falls High School, knowing that he was going to have to say goodbye to Elena.

"Do you really have to go to school today?" he whined, pouting.

"Yes, I really do," she insisted, checking her reflection in the mirror.

"But it's a Friday," he groaned.

"Yes, but I have a history test today, and my attendance is already spotty," she sighed, grabbing her bag.

"Well, have fun," he smirked, "kiss for good luck?"

She rolled her eyes and opened the door.

"Hey are we still on for tonight?"

"Of course we are," she assured him.

"Good, because I've got something special planned," he winked, smirking.

"Don't you always," she said, "okay, bye Damon."

"Bye," he smiled as she closed the car door and made her way towards the school.

Damon certainly liked this new arrangement; with Bonnie taking Jeremy to school, Damon had a whole ride to school's worth of time alone with Elena. Not that he needed it, they spent plenty of time together, he just liked any time he got to spend with her, especially alone. Tonight was finally the night, he thought, and boy did he have something special planned.

* * *

Elena met with Bonnie and Jeremy at her locker before the bell rang for school. She said a quick hello to her best friend and then left to go to the library to study for her history test.

"So am I coming over to your house tonight?" Bonnie asked Jeremy.

"Ah, no, Damon and Elena have that thing, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, they really do that every Friday?"

"Every Friday since Stefan left," he confirmed.

"Huh, well you can come over to my house then," Bonnie said taking his hand as they walked to class.

"Good, cause I really don't want to be in the house tonight," he said, "who knows what they'll get up to, when they're together. I'll probably have some mess to clean up, when I get home."

* * *

Elena smiled as she watched Damon's car pull into the school parking lot.

"Hey," she said, quietly.

"Hey,' he answered, suggestively smirking.

She sighed as she got into the car.

"How was school?" he asked.

"Long," she sighed.

"How was your test?" he asked.

"Let's just say I'm relieved that I studied and that I had someone who was alive during World War II to help me study."

"Glad I could help," he answered.

She groaned, "this whole week was so stressful."

"But, you made it," he said.

"We made it," she corrected him.

"Yes and tonight is our reward," he said smiling.

"It's what keeps me motivated, looking forward to tonight," she said.

"Then let's do it," he smiled.

Elena was silent the rest of the way home, relaxed now that she knew the school week was behind her and that Friday night was finally here. Damon drove them back to her house and parked the car. Then, he got her bag from the trunk before opening her door for her. Damon led the way to her front door and when he reached the doorstep, he stopped and turned around.

"I have to tell you," he said, "I started setting up without you."

"Oh, we're not going to set the table together?"

"Well, I wanted it to be a surprise."

"What?"

"You'll see." Damon opened the door for Elena and she stepped into the house and immediately turned into the dinning room. The table was set for two and it was no ordinary dinner setting. There was a large crystal vase filled with roses acting as the centerpiece and an elegant lace tablecloth underneath the fanciest glass plates and wine glasses that Elena had ever seen.

"Wow," was all she could say.

"I told you I had something special planned."

"This china set is gorgeous," she said.

"It was my great grandmothers."

"Are you sure about using these?"

"Oh, yeah," he answered.

"Okay," she sighed, "so what are we cooking?"

"I actually thought we would do something simple," he answered heading to the kitchen, "I want to get on with the second part of our evening."

She smiled, thinking about it. "Okay, what do you need me to do?"

"Chop peppers for our stir fry."

"You got it," she said, following him to the kitchen and reaching for a knife.

* * *

Elena laughed and squealed as Damon reached around her waist and took hold of the frying pan that she was holding. He shook it a couple of times and then lifted it up and down to stir up the meat and vegetables frying inside.

"It needs more oil," he said, reaching to grab the bottle, "you want the flame to be really high."

"You call this something simple?" she squealed shaking the pan.

"Yes."

"This is amazing," she said, "I've never done this before."

"Well, that's why you have me," he answered, "the adventurous one."

"And what am I?"

"The sensible one."

"Remember, that I'm the one that came up with this idea in the first place."

"Hmm, you do have a point. But I'm the one who suggested that we do it again," he said, "and again and again."

"Thank goodness your family has lots of spare china sets."

"Mmmhmm, and that there's no one alive to tell us that we can't use them," he said, returning to the stove.

* * *

"Damon, that was delicious," she said, grabbing her napkin after dinner.

"Well thank you, Elena," he said.

"You don't also have desert planned, do you?"

"I thought we would have that after," he said.

"Okay," she said, standing up and grabbing her plate, "let's go and wash these and then we'll get started." Damon grabbed his plate and followed her to the kitchen. Damon stood beside Elena as she washed the two plates and then he took them from her to dry with a dishtowel.

"Do you have the rest of the set?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll get the box," he said, "will you grab the wine glasses?"

"Yep," she said.

Damon and Elena met at the front door and she held it open as he carried the box outside. They walked together to the side of the house facing the driveway and Damon placed the box down.

"Ready to do this?" he asked.

"I've been ready for days," she said, handing him one of the plates in her hand.

"Together on three?" he asked. She nodded, focused on the flat, brick wall in front of her and the heavy glass plate in her hands.

"One," she said.

"Two," he answered.

"Three!" they yelled together and then with unintelligible battle cries threw their plates at the wall. As the glass met brick, it cracked into a million sparkly shards that sprinkled to the ground.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," Damon said darkly.

"Give me another one," she demanded.

As Damon and Elena flung their plates at the wall they screamed and grunted out their frustrations, their irritations, their disappointments, and their outrage. They cursed at the limitations that tried to confine them, and the freedom that was just out of their reach. They mourned all of the loved ones that were brutally torn away from them and themselves, that they had to carry on in desperation, for the hope of seeing their loved ones again. They yelled and screamed even though there was no one to receive their rage, no one to blame for their resentment and indignation. They not only screamed outwardly, but also to themselves and to each other. They only two people who truly understood what the other was going though. They were working though it, together.

"We're out of plates," Damon huffed.

"Get the bowls," Elena said sharply.

"Here," he thrust one towards her as he chucked the other one at the cement ground.

"Ahh!" Elena screamed hurling her bowl at the wall.

Damon placed a wine glass upside down on the ground and stomped on it with his boot.

After smashing almost all of the china, Elena ran towards the house, yelling, "I'm going to get the vase!"

After Damon had thrown the last teacup to the ground, Elena stepped forward with the vase of flowers. The pile of broken glass shards was clustered in a circle on Elena's driveway. As she stepped forward, little pieces of glass crunched and squealed against each other as she crushed them even further with her feet. With one final cry, Elena smashed the vase of flowers as she thrust it down to meet the pile of shards. Instantly it burst and the water spurted out in all directions as the roses and their stems fell limply onto the expanse of broken glass.

After staring at the captivating and tragic pile of shards for a while, Damon and Elena turned away panting, with their shoulders moving rapidly as they calmed down.

"That was really nice china," she said a little regretfully.

"Well no one was using it," he sighed, "and I wanted us to have it."

"Alright," she breathed, "shall we call Jeremy so that he can clean this up?"

"Yep," he answered, putting his arm around her, "let's go have some desert."

"Oh, what did you bring?" she asked as they walked towards the front door.

"Red velvet cake, a la mode," he smirked.

"Oh, that sounds nice," she said, sanguinely.


	4. Prom?

Damon was hardly ever nervous, but he was nervous this morning as he pulled his car up to Mystic Falls High School to drop Elena off.

"Okay, I'll see you after school," she said, grabbing the door handle.

"Wait," he said, reaching over to stop her.

"Yeah?"

"Um, so I heard that asking season for prom was starting, and…"

"Oh my god, did Caroline talk to you?"

"Yeah," he sighed knowing that she understood.

"I'm sorry, but you already know how pushy and insistent she is. You don't have to worry about the whole prom thing, okay?"

"Why?" he asked confused, "did someone else already ask you?"

"No," she said, "I've just decided not to go."

"Really?"

"Yeah, so you don't have to worry about it okay? We can do something else, go to a movie, have dinner…"

"But," he started.

"Damon I really have to go," she sighed getting out of the car, "I'm sorry again about Caroline."

Damon groaned rolling his eyes, how hard was it to ask this girl to a silly school dance?

* * *

The next morning, as Damon was dropping Elena off at school, he decided to try again.

"So, Elena, I don't think you understood what I meant yesterday when I mentioned the prom," he started.

"Yeah?"

"Carline gave me lots of ideas on how to ask you…"

"Really?" she asked, starting to get nervous.

"Yeah, but I thought they were a little unoriginal, so I came up with my own idea."

"You did?"

"Yeah," he said, reaching behind the seat to grab something. He then placed a stuffed animal fish in her lap, followed by another stuffed animal that looked like a dolphin.

Damon then took a steading breath and began, "out of all of the fish in the sea, whale you go to prom with me?"

Elena paused as a smile stretched across her face, and then she started laughing.

"Is that a yes?" Damon asked hesitantly.

"Yes," she nodded, "I think that is the cheesiest way I've ever been asked out."

"You sound surprised?" he asked, worried.

"Well I certainly wasn't expecting to be asked to prom this morning, and even if I was, I would have expected you to do something big, formal, and elegant."

"Yes, but you wouldn't have liked that."

"No, I liked this," she laughed looking down at the cuddly toys, "is this a dolphin?"

"It is actually, I couldn't find a stuffed animal whale anywhere."

"I love them," she said looking down at her fish and dolphin, "how on earth did you come up with this idea?"

"Well, I wanted it to be unpredictable, so I took everything that blondie told me and turned it around, searching for the most backwards, obscene ways to ask a girl to prom, and this is what I found."

"You're so funny, and sweet," she said, "and of course I'll go to prom with you."

"I had planned to ask you yesterday," he said, "but you said you didn't want to go."

"That's only because I thought you didn't want to go. You think school dances are cliché and childish."

"They are cliché and childish," he said, "that's why I've decided to embrace it, like with this pathetic fish and whale line."

"You really want to go to prom?"

"Not really, I just want to go with you, you're my fish."

"Aww," she said reaching over to kiss his cheek, "you're my fish too. Now, whale you excuse me, if I don't go now I'll be late for school."

He rolled his eyes, "I'll see you after school."

"Sure, you can take me dress shopping. Now that I know you want to go for a fish theme, we have to find an ocean blue waistcoat and a clownfish orange bow tie."

"Don't push it."

"Oh, no, none of that, you started this remember?"

He sighed, knowing it was true, but he couldn't help himself, it was the first time he had asked a girl to the prom after all. And she said yes, even after a play on words. He must really be that good looking, he thought to himself smugly as he pulled out of the parking lot.


	5. Cookies and Milk and Flour

"Hey Damon," Elena called from the kitchen when she heard the front door open.

"Hey, I got the cocoa powder you asked for," he said placing a grocery bag onto the counter.

"Oh thanks," she breathed, flustered, "the cookies beeped while you were gone, do you want one?"

"Oh, yes please," he smirked.

"Okay be careful, they're hot," she said sliding a cookie onto his hand with the spatula. Damon frowned looking down at the cookie.

"What's wrong?" she asked, confused.

"I need a glass of milk," he said innocently.

"Really? Just eat the cookie, Damon. And hurry because I need your help cooking for the bake sale."

"No, I need a glass of milk first," he insisted.

"Well I'm not getting it for you," she said, "I'm clearly busy starting on these brownies and you can see the fridge right there."

"Someone's not in a good mood," he smirked.

"You think?"

"So I'll just get my own glass of milk," he mumbled, walking to the fridge. He paused and turned like he was about to say something, but then stopped himself and looked at her with a hesitant expression.

"What is it now Damon?" she snapped.

"I need a glass."

"First cabinet on your left."

After Damon poured himself a glass of milk, he went over to the island and sat down with his cookie. Then, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a black flask, with which he screwed off the top and began to pour an amber liquid into his glass of milk.

Elena glanced up at him while she was vigorously stirring batter and sighed, "what is that?"

"Bourbon," he answered plainly.

"Why are you pouring it into your milk?"

"So that I can dunk my cookie."

"You, Damon Salvatore, the ruthless vampire, like to dunk your cookies in milk?"

"Milk with bourbon," he shrugged.

"Of course," she groaned rolling her eyes.

Damon picked up his cookie and began dunking it in the milk. When he believed the cookie was sufficiently drowned he took a big bite out of it and then finished the rest of the cookie in two more munches.

"Mmm, mmm, mmm," he hummed, "perfect."

"Thanks," Elena said, "that was my mom's recipe."

"Alright," Damon said, downing the rest of his milk and bourbon, "what do you need me to do?"

"Crack two eggs into that bowl and add the sugar and flour," she said.

"You got it," he said simply.

"And, Damon," she added, "thank you for the help."

"Hey if I get to be the official taste tester, then I don't mind."

"You are going to get so…"

"Don't say it," he warned.

"Fat!"

"Oh look at that, how cliché," he said, "I have flour in my hands."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh you know I would."

"Damon," she started, but it was too late. Damon grabbed a handful of flour and flung it at Elena. It hit her head on and she sputtered as the flour hit her face and flew into her nose and mouth.

"I'm gonna get you for that," she said, reaching for the bag of flour.

"Oh no you don't," he said snatching the bag and running to the other side of the island.

"Damon!" she screamed reaching for the bag over the counter. She managed to grab the bottom corner with her fingers and she held on tightly.

"Don't make me use my vamp strength!"

"Don't make me use mine!"

"We seem to be at an impasse," he said.

"So what do you want to do about it?"

Damon and Elena both turned caught off guard as they heard the front door opening. Damon quickly refocused though and he swiftly yanked on the bag trying to loosen Elena's grip.

Instead the bag ripped down the middle and flour exploded in a white cloud over the counter, both Damon and Elena, and all over the floor.

"Guys?" Jeremy called from the hall.

"In the kitchen Jer!" Elena called.

"Oh my god," Jeremy said walking into the kitchen and then he simply turned around, "you know, I don't even want to know."

"He started it!" Elena whined.

"No I didn't!"

"You threw flour at me!"

"You called me fat!"

"No, I said you were going to _get_ fat!"

"That's basically the same thing!"

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't!"

"Guys!" Jeremy called from the other room, "don't make me call Stefan!"

"He wouldn't," Damon said.

"Oh you know he would," Elena said.

"Fine, truce?"

"Deal."

* * *

Later at the bake sale, Carol Lockwood approached the table of desserts and said hello to Elena.

"Oh, is that powdered sugar on top of the brownies?" she asked picking one up to take a bite.

"No, that's," Elena started hurriedly, but it was too late. Mrs. Lockwood bit the brownie and cringed at the dull, dry taste of the powder.

"Flour," Elena added, regretfully.

* * *

I wrote a haiku:

All of a sudden,

you, readers, feel an impulse

to click that button!

(please review)


	6. They're Here

Elena sighed as she pushed her shopping cart down the cereal isle. She was almost done with the grocery shopping for the week and she was ready to go home and spend the day doing something fun with Damon and Jeremy. Elena was just putting Jeremy's cereal in the cart when her phone rang.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Elena!" Damon shouted, hurriedly.

"Yes, Damon," she sighed, "I remembered to get the black capped bourbon, not the blue, just like you reminded me, seven times."

"No, no that. You need to come home, right now!"

"No, I'm in the middle of shopping."

"They're here!" he said and then hung up abruptly.

"Wait, Damon!" She hissed, anxiously. After thinking what 'they're here' could mean, she decided to abandon her shopping cart and start running to her car.

"Damon!" she shouted, her heart pounding as she rushed through the door of the boarding house.

"What took you so long?" he smirked, suddenly stepping in front of her.

"Damon?" she asked, "What's going on? What's wrong?"

"Our letters arrived!" he announced.

"What?" she realized what he meant, "that's why you called me home, I thought you were in danger!"

"Nope, no danger here," he shrugged.

"Damon, I left the cart in the middle of the aisle," she sighed.

"We'll just go shopping again later, this is more important."

"You're not even sorry for freaking me out?"

"You need to be freaking out, the letters arrived Elena, and it's a big deal!"

"Okay, I'll forgive you, but the next time you call screaming and hang up before I can say anything, I'm not coming to rescue you."

"That's understandable," he shrugged.

"Alright," she sighed, "where are these letters?"

"Why aren't you more excited?"

"I don't know, I'll remain reserved until after I read it, then we'll see."

"Okay there's your letter," he pointed to the stack of mail, "and here's your letter opener."

"Wow, fancy. I thought you would just want to rip them open."

"No, Elena, you're always supposed to use a letter opener when opening mail, that's what it's for."

"Alright," she sighed, bringing the knife to the corner of the envelope.

"Wait," he stopped her, "we have to open them together."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Alright, well I'm opening it now."

"No, wait. Let's switch, I'll open yours and you open mine."

"Oh I just knew you were going to turn this into a whole production."

"Mmmhhhmmm," he smirked.

"Okay, on three?" she asked, humoring him.

"One," he said.

"Two," she answered.

"Three," they said.

Damon was distracted from opening Elena's letter however, when she threw the letter opener aside and decided to just tear the envelope open.

"Damon!" she shouted, "You got in!"

"I did?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes you did!"

"I really didn't think my scores were good enough, I mean I even used compulsion to get a valid high school transcript."

"Yes, but the quality of your essay must have been the tie breaker, you spent months on it, and now you're going to Harvard Damon!"

"Wait, don't get carried away yet, I still have to open yours, the actual application."

"Oh admit it, you might have only started the application because I wanted you to, but you love the idea of going to college with me."

"Yes I do," he smirked, but then frowned after he opened her letter, "Oh, Elena, I'm so sorry."

"Don't even think that you've fooled me for a second," she snatched the letter out of his hands.

"Ah!" she flung the letter to the ground and gripped Damon's hands, "I got in!"

"I know!" he said as she started jumping up and down.

"We got in! We both got in! We're going to Harvard!"

Damon watched as Elena bounced up and down and then let go of her hands to grab her in a tight hug.

"I can't believe it," she whispered.

"Neither can I," he said, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

They both turned when they heard the front door open.

"That's Jeremy," Elena said, "let's go tell him."

"Jeremy, Elena and I got in!" Damon shouted.

"You're kidding!" he ran into the room.

"No, we're going to Harvard University!" she said.

"Congratulations," he said, giving Elena a hug, "well why don't we go out for dinner and celebrate."

"That's perfect," she said.

"But first we have to go grocery shopping, Elena got so excited when I told her that the letters arrived that she came straight home and abandoned her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle."

"Yeah and if I have to do that again, because you call me screaming like a girl about to get murdered, then I'm going to buy the blue capped bourbon on purpose," she threatened.

"Actually, I'm more in the mood for champagne," he smirked, "we did get into Harvard after all."


	7. I lost my number, can I have yours?

"Damon, I'm home," Elena called into the boarding house as she turned around to close the front door. When she turned around again, she was met with a pair of piercing blue eyes that were daringly impending on her personal space, as always.

"Ah!" she gasped, "you scared me!"

"Where have you been, Elena?" he said, annoyed, "I've been texting you all afternoon and I left you several, strongly worded voicemails about calling me back!"

"To answer your question, I was at Bonnies. And about the texts and voicemails, I have no idea what you're talking about, I haven't gotten a single message from you all day."

"Oh yeah," he said, whipping his phone out of his pocket, "then explain all of these!"

She took his phone and thumbed through his conversation history of one-sided text messages, all to Elena Gilbert. Her forehead crinkled as she frowned, thinking.

"Oh yeah, I got a new phone number," she shrugged, "to many enemies knew my last one."

"And you didn't tell me?" he asked, almost hurt.

"I'm sorry Damon, but I just got it today, I haven't told Jeremy either."

"And you didn't think of causally slipping the topic of your new phone number into our conversation at breakfast this morning?"

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, okay. Were you worried about me?"

He was, extremely, but he smirked and said, "no."

She frowned and rolled her eyes.

"So give me your new number," he demanded, reaching for his phone so he could type it in.

"You know what, I don't know how you got it the first time, but this time you're going to have to earn it."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know, how do you normally get a girl's phone number?"

"Get them drunk."

She smirked and rolled her eyes, "Well, good luck with that."

"How about, 'hey, I lost my number, can I have yours?'" he asked with flirty eyes, putting on a facade.

"Ha!" she laughed sarcastically.

"Do you have a map? Because I just might get lost in your eyes."

"Nope, not giving you my number."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you."

"No, no, and… no. Damon these are all really lame pick up lines, do you seriously use these?"

"Yes, and what's really amusing is that they work, too!" he said frustrated.

"Hey, didn't we go to different schools together?" he asked.

She groaned, "that one is even worse, but you got me to smile."

"Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"Aww, that one is cute."

"So can I have your number?"

"No," she giggled, smirking.

"Your warm eyes melt the iciness of my heart."

"Hey, that one fits you perfectly," she said.

"Well thank you," he said, getting fed up, "now give me your phone number."

"No."

"Well then, fine Elena. I don't need your number. But, who's going to text you back when you're bored in Mr. McAllen's class? Who's going to text you something comforting, or something funny, when they know that you're having a bad day? Who's going to call you just to say goodnight before you fall asleep? Who's going to gossip with you when Bonnie is off with Jeremy, or give you advice when Caroline doesn't have the answer? Well, I guess it's not going to be me, if I don't even know your phone number." He turned and started walking down the hall.

"Wait, Damon," she started.

"No, Elena," he feigned hopelessly, but he was really smiling.

"Damon, I'll give you my number!"

"It's okay, I don't want it anymore."

"Let me give you my number!"

"No," he sighed, "it can't be helped."

"8-7-9!" she started shouting.

"3-0-1!" she screamed at him.

"4!"

"6!"

"10!"

"Elena?" Jeremy called, coming in the door, "why are you shouting random numbers?"

"I got a new phone number," she told him, and to Damon she shouted, "I hope you wrote that down!"

"What were those last four digits?" Damon shouted

"4!"

"6!"

"10!"

"What?" he called, "Jeremy did you get that?"

"Nope sorry, Elena, what was it again?" Jeremy teased.

"Oh if I wasn't such a romantic I would kill you both!" she yelled.

Damon replied, "Hey that's my line!"

* * *

_Thanks for reading, please review._


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